Rabu, 02 November 2011

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Something Stupid That Comes Out from My Mind

Annyeong,
 
So here's I got some things to think about...
I was think about enjoying me-time.
I'm so not into fashion so I'll talk about books.

Ew, yeah, I read, like, everything.
Semua yang menarik perhatian saya, tentu saja.
I love, to see some nice dress, nice blouse, nice shoes, but I don't think they will fit me well as seen as on the photographs
(when you browse some online shops) or on those mannequins in stores, so I'll just, like, yeah, whatever.
Maaf saya meracau.

Anyway,
I LLOOOVVEE BOOKS so much.
Novels. Comics. Poems. Whatever.
I need some me-time, going to the bookstore, or library, or some nice cafe where I can spend my extra money AND extra TIME...
But I know it's not gonna happen these days.
I'm like, I really love bookstores, those smell of new books... wow.
I really, really, really can't stand it!

Sometimes I really want to go travelling through this lovely city, alone... but the problem is...
I don't like travelling alone.
I already have some places-to-go IF ONLY I brave enough to go ALONE...
My lists are: BOOKSTORES, cafe to eat pancakes and drink latte, errr... Malioboro, perhaps... and also Keraton, some nice places to take pictures...
IF ONLY I have a camera.
Pasti asik mengelilingi kota Jogja dan berkunjung ke tempat-tempat yang bagus.

Yah, itu hanya semacam... apa ya... harapan? Impian? Mimpi? Hahaha.
Yang jelas, saya bukan tipe orang yang bisa berkeliling sendirian, naik bus atau apa, jalan kaki, bukannya saya manja atau apa, tapi
saya bengek, saudara-saudara. Saya cepat sekali sesak napas. Naik tangga tiga lantai saja saya langsung ngos-ngosan.
Gimana saya bisa bertahan menghabiskan seharian di luar, berkeliling kota?
Saya prefer pergi ke toko buku, membeli beberapa buku, kemudian pergi ke toko kaset, hanya untuk cuci mata, kemudian pergi ke cafe yang ada hotspotnya,
membeli cake atau cappuccino, atau latte, atau ke restoran Korea, mencicipi kimbab, atau ke angkringan, makan sebentar, lalu singgah ke perpustakaan,
tentu saja yang ada hotspotnya (lagi!), duduk, membaca buku, yeah this is what 'refreshing' means to me!

* * *

I was just thinking about them...
It's like, I wondered, if only they read my tweets, and they think about me...
Do they even care?
Dan waktu pikiran saya melayang, ke beberapa bulan lalu...
I wish I brave enough to say... "HE IS NOT VISITING ME AND YOU KNOW THAT!"
Not to say, but to scream. -.-
I was really really angry these days. This month.
Sorry. I was just...

Sini aku kasih tau.

When I was home, I mean, in MY HOUSE...
There was a problem...
About continuing my study HERE or not.
But then I decided to stay.
Why?
I stay because of them.
I stay because of him.
HE IS ONE OF THE REASON WHY I'M STILL HERE.
But now?
Someone took my reason away.
Someone I loved.
Ironic.

So now I have no reason.
Technically.

Honestly. I thought about him at that time.

Tapi sekarang, ini semua nggak berarti lagi.
It doesn't mean ANYTHING!

I HAVE TO CREATE MY OWN REASON.

Yeah.
That's what I'm supposed to do.

I'm sorry, if, someone out there, read this, and think, 'oh, is this story about me?' I'm really, really sorry...
I just don't know what to do.
I don't even know myself.
I mean, who AM I?
I lost myself.

Teman saya bilang saya nggak seceria dulu lagi, but who to blame?
No one but myself.
Saya yang membuat diri saya seperti ini.
Jadi, buat seseorang, atau orang-orang, di luar sana, tenanglah, saya tidak menggalaukan anda, kalian, kamu, atau mereka.
Saya menggalaukan diri saya sendiri, saya memarahi diri saya sendiri, saya menyalahkan diri saya sendiri.
And this has nothing to do with you... guys.

I just need time.
Just it.
Oh, do you even STILL CARE ABOUT IT?

Okay I'm so sorry for acting like this.
Really sorry.

Because this is about my heart. About my feelings.
So... what to do?

* * *

Well anyway, I got a great afternoon today, emm...
Okay I tweeted with my ex, so, what's so great about that?
Nothing but...
Ini seperti... kembali ke masa lalu.
Saya tidak bisa memungkiri, bahwa, saya senang, senang sekali bisa kembali kontak dengannya, bisa bicara seperti biasa.

Modern Minds and Pastimes.
I don't know, it's just come out from my mind.

Yeah, well, I'm happy :)

* * *

I stalked someone's profile this afternoon and found out that...
Oh GOD, why is HE soooo daammnn handsome after I left him? or... should I say... after he left me?
I just... felt... regretful -_____-"
Wajar. Cewek.
Hahahahaha.

Tapi seriusan loh, DIA, makin ganteng aja ><
I won't mention some names here, ever, hahahahahahaha!
Emang ya, yang namanya MANTAN, setelah putus hubungan, pasti jadi lebih menarik.
MANTAN APAPUN LOH.
Mantan pacar, mantan HTS-an, mantan sahabat...
Whatever.
Oh dan hari ini saya ketemu - ngeliat - si dongsaeng ganteng lewat. Yah, cuma lewat *nangis* bukan ketemu dan melihat matanya seperti biasa #halah 
Ya, saya akhir-akhir ini jaraaaanng banget ketemu sama beliau, yeah, BELIAU.


Anyway, hari ini hujan cukup lama dan cukup deras.
I LOVE IT!

I think... that's all that I can say tonight.
Have some slides to read (and learn).
Tomorrow will be a mid-term exam...
Dan UTS ini Ilmu THT :o
Dan bahannya banyak banget.


Gotta go, maybe make a cup of coffee, and make a chocolate-cheese sandwich for a midnight-snack-while-studying... kinda pathetic, you know, but, well... what else can I do? :)

So... see ya! :)

R.A.
Jogja, 2 November 2011

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